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    Genius? Bahahaha! I Don’t Know About That

    I’ve been working hard for several weeks, just trying to get up my nerve. I started this new project and, while it’s not the project itself that has me second-guessing myself, it’s the name of it.

    If you’ve read through my blog, you know I like to make things. All the things. All. The. Things. I’m interested in fine arts like drawing and painting, writing, photography, music–specifically composition and vocals, cooking, crafting, gardening, yarn art, and on and on and on. I have this curious mind that just won’t stop until I’ve tried my hand at making all the things.

    Well last year, I decided I needed to focus this blog on my writing (it’s my greatest dream to be a writer full time) and move all the other projects to a new place. I wanted to do it this way because there is so much here that is personal, so many thoughts and memories that I’ve typed into this particular space while batting away tears or laughing out loud. They’re all home here. I can’t imagine writing all of that into a new space. Somehow (yup, I’m probably just crazy), I just don’t think it’d be the same.

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    For Mom

    Five years and I still dream about you as though you never left. I still pick up the phone to call you. I want to show you the things I make.

    You loved this song and I did, too. I love it even more now because it reminds me of the greatest promise we could never ask for. My greatest comfort.



    She Loved Beautiful Star of Bethlehem

    She Loved Beautiful Star of Bethlehem. It was her favorite Christmas song.

    It was her favorite because it was her mom’s favorite. Mom told me many times about how Grandma used to sing it all year long. It was more than a Christmas carol for her: it was a hymn and a lullaby, too. I think the song rings so true in part because it was written in a barn, someplace very much like the place Jesus was born.

    I remember Grandma singing it to me while I sat next to her in her living room, her arm around me and my head nestled against her. I’d watch the little figures swing back and forth on the clock across the room while she sang, and listen to Grandpa turn the pages of his newspaper as he read it at the kitchen table in the next room.

    This song is my mom, my grandma, my grandpa and his ever-present newspaper. It’s mantle clocks, purest love, warm cuddles on a cold day. It’s peace.

    Beautiful Star of Bethlehem Read more


    For Mom

    You sang to me every day, cowboy lullabies, love songs, carols, and hymns. Those songs are why music is so dear to me now.
    I wish I could have sung for you at your farewell but I was too busy saying goodbye.
    I will sing for you now, though, Momma.
    You are the song in my heart.

    In My Life

    My cover of The Beatles In My Life, one of Mom’s favorite songs.


    Shadows, an Excerpt

    An excerpt from my current WIP and a song it inspired:

    “We neared the edge of the forest and Father frowned toward the house, which drooped and sagged from the tug of the earth. My brothers had left it unattended and unpolished, all of its secrets exposed to the sun though they were designed for nothing but shadow. He glanced at Albert, who trudged along in tall grasses, his view of the house obscured.

    Father slowed his gait and started to sing:


    Shadows hide
    Below the floor.
    Hide just like
    You’ve done before.

    Screaming scheming
    Shadows dear.
    Hidden now
    But ever near.

    He repeated the verses until Albert learned the words and joined in. Ribbons of song, the edges sharp and black, cut through the air and touched the roof of the house. When the music landed, it melted and ran, burnishing charred slate shingles to gleaming copper as it dripped down.”


    The Poetry of Carols: I Wonder as I Wander

    Christmas carols are poetry.

    I Wonder as I Wander is one of my favorites. The melody is simple, haunting and so very beautiful, the lyrics pure and humble. What I love most about this song is its origins. It was culled from the repertoire of the Appalachian people by folklorist John Jacob Niles in the 1930’s. He first heard the song sung by a traveling evangelist named Annie Morgan. He describes her performance here:

    “A girl had stepped out to the edge of the little platform attached to the automobile. She began to sing. Her clothes were unbelievably dirty and ragged, and she, too, was unwashed. Her ash-blond hair hung down in long skeins…. But, best of all, she was beautiful, and in her untutored way, she could sing. She smiled as she sang, smiled rather sadly, and sang only a single line of a song.”

    He had her repeat the line again and again, memorizing it and developing it into the carol we know today. This song reminds me that, if we allow him to, God will use us to bless others no matter our situation, be it excess or lack.

    I Wonder as I Wander

    I wonder as I wander out under the sky
    How Jesus the Saviour did come for to die
    For poor on’ry people like you and like I;
    I wonder as I wander out under the sky

    When Mary birthed Jesus ’twas in a cow’s stall
    With wise men and farmers and shepherds and all
    But high from God’s heaven, a star’s light did fall
    And the promise of ages it then did recall.

    If Jesus had wanted for any wee thing
    A star in the sky or a bird on the wing
    Or all of God’s Angels in heaven to sing
    He surely could have it, ’cause he was the King

    I wonder as I wander out under the sky
    How Jesus the Saviour did come for to die
    For poor on’ry people like you and like I;
    I wonder as I wander out under the sky


    For Mom

    Thank you for what you left me.

    A legacy of

    You taught me early what was important.

    Who to love, what to love.

    And who loved me first.

    Amazing Grace Minor

    My cover of Amazing Grace as arranged by The Rambos, Mom’s favorite gospel band.